I would say that I. Just going to play the silent card until you’re ready to seriously talk some shift out, but the sad part of the matter I don’t think you would put your pride down and actually say sorry, or talk for that matter.
You’d rather play that silent card too until I break and apologize for whatever it is you think I’ve done wrong this time because you know I’ll break first.
And I’m not ashamed of that because that means I’d rather out my pride aside to make the one I love happy again then prove some stupid point.
So I am almost 36 weeks pregnant and I must say the anticipation is starting to really set in. It occured to me that from now until like September I am pretty much just waiting for all hell to break loose and my guts to fall out. Lol
Sorry for that image, haha but you get the point. It’s like waiting.for the worst pain you’ll ever feel just to sneak up and set in and mak you’re body its bitch for 8 to 24 hours.
It’s all good though, eye on the prize! And what a prize it will be!
Everyone on tumblr wants to talk about what sucks.
I’ll tell you what sucks: the one person you love and care about the most not believing that you love them. That its all just some lie or whatever to bide time until you can find some make believe person that’s better.
New flash, you are the best thing. And I’ve been telling you that since day one.
I’m sorry that you can’t see that. I wish you could. It breaks my heart that you can’t see how great you are and how perfect we are.
I hate being in the spotlight. Or under a microscope. I like people listening to me but I don’t like attention. What the fuck is that? What does that even mean?
Maybe I’m just a weirdo lol
I don’t know. Maybe its the pregger hormones. I’m trying to hard to be good, and do right but not really trying at all because being honest or true isn’t something I have to work at.
Maybe I’m just sweating everything too much because for once in my life I have shit that I genuinely don’t want to lose.
Rawr. When you don’t have shit all you do is dream about what you want. And when you have all you want you’re tripping shit trying to keep it.
Like meg from Hercules said, “people to crazy things when they’re in love”
Someone is always telling me I’m doing it wrong, or I need to change something or blah blah. So who the fuck am I supposed to listen to?
I just want to run away from it all. I can’t do this. This whole choosing sides thing.
It’s like I vented to you and you’re now using it against me, or maybe you are just helping. But who knows? Can I trust you?
Fuck this. And fuck people. It’s not like anyone will ever be truely happy.
I hate when people make shit complicated by trying to explain and sound like they have it all figured out. Like love:
Call me lazy, but when I have had boyfriends, when they start to complicate, interfere, or upset my usually balance of life, emotion, and general peace of things..I drop em. Because this is my philosophy and its worked pretty damn well for me considering I am happily engaged to be married, a beautiful baby boy on the way and a relationship that everyone envies: If its complicated and hard and a fucking mess (ESPECIALLY WITHIN THE FIRST FEW MONTHS TO A YEAR) move one. Try to find better.
For one, I don’t have time to fix people. I’ve tried. It seldom works. If they have issues it better be some shit similar to your issues so you can work through them together with better support and understanding.
For two’s: I don’t have time for nor do I make time for drama. So if you are infected my it and try to infect my life and peace…see YA!
For three’s, if you bring me down, or hurt my feelings or make me feel inadequate I don’t want you. I’ve worked too damn hard for what I have and to get where I am and I will be respected and treated right. And if someone can’t do just that - its simple - fuck off.
Love isn’t complicated. Love shouldn’t be a job. People make it complicated because they don’t want to admit to themselves that it simply will not work. Or they are too selfish and/or self conscience to let it go for the chance of something better.
All this shit like “when she ignores you thats when you should talk to her the most”?
FUCKKKK THAT. That shit is petty and child’s play. If I’m ignoring you that means come the fuck back later or I’ll come to you when I’m ready.
There are very few, very simple rules to keeping a relationship:
- Be fucking honest and stop being sketchy. Stop talking to the billions of guys. Stop looking for cuties and instead find new reasons everyday why you love your one and only. Tell the truth - you’ll never be at fault or stress about it if you just tell the truth and always be pure in your relationship. Feel like cheating? Shouldn’t be in a relationship.
- Be considerate. ALWAYS. Remember that you are now a unit. You have to stick together to get through life without the world tearing you apart. How would you feel if he treated you the way you treat him? Honestly? How would you feel if he said those things to you? Put yourself in his shows (visa versa). Keep your voice level. Avoid hostility and yelling at all costs- it doesn’t fucking fix anything faster, if anything it makes things worse. And listen to each others opinions and sides. Come to common ground. You have to learn what works for you guys and how each other handles things so you know how to deliver them.
- Keep the verbal communication open. Talk over everything, ask what he thinks about decisions before you just make them all. Even if it really doesn’t concern him its nice to be in the loop and feel like your involved - ladies don’t even act like you wouldn’t be mad if you weren’t all up in his beeswax. Everything that you demand make sure you can and are delivering. Otherwise shut the fuck up.
- Don’t forget to simply appreciate, and enjoy each other. And be verbally open about how much you do appreciate them and everything they do. :]
If you aren’t getting all this but are delivering it, I suggest you revaluate the fact that there are a billion fish in the sea but this path to constant frustration and misery is the only way of life. And if you get all this but fail to deliver, you’re an asshole and your partner deserves better.
Take this shit as literal as you can. The only way to possibly fuck this up is if you start to pick it apart and bend it and warp it and complicate it so you don’t feel so bad about the fact that you’re a selfish inconsiderate lover.
Keep it fucking simple. Because after all this complication and rules everyone seems to think they have to follow to get some cookie cutter relationship you have forgotten to enjoy the uniqueness and happiness of your own.
Find what works for you, and don’t be scared to move past something because you may find better. In the end whats meant to happen most surely will. IF you deserve it.
Karma is a bitch ya know, so I’d try not to be! ;D
Another great thing i have learned about being pregnant/ becoming a mother:
Sometimes, even the best of your friends only want to stay friends with you if its convenient.
I understand everyone has lives, but I have never just left you. Never left you for a new crowd, never left you for a boy, never left you for substance. and you have done all three of those. several times.
Sometimes I have a hard time convincing myself that you’re even still worth my time.
Now you’ve stated in with the whole, “let me make promises and plans that I don’t really intend to keep..” shit.
Just wait. I’ll be unpregnant and 21. Then I can go to the bars, WITHOUT YOU. Then I can make plans with people that I know actually care, WITHOUT YOU. I can makes plans to hang with you then bale out because I’d rather stay for drinks at fucking chilli’s.
I hope you like the people you’re currently with. Because everyone I still chill with that were once your friends too have come to the conclusion that you’re a flake, a skeeze, and are SHOCKED that you have managed to stay faithful this long.
I’m tired of having these friends that everyone else dislikes because I take the time to stand up and defend you then I look stupid because they were all right about you, and me the person thats supposed to know you the best doesn’t really know you at all.
I just don’t think you are aware of how your actions effect others. So while you’re partying it up with your DJ boyfriend think about where you might be or want to be in 10 years.. is he still going to have chatt under his belt? or is he going to crash and burn and have nothing to offer you like all the other music scene pricks. All these people that like you so much now? Where will they be when you’re no longer the ‘cool’ girl to be friends with?
I think all this crap has gone to your head. To the point where you’d rather keep up your appearances than continue to take the time to be a good caring friend. Like I’d like to think you used to be.
But then again, it could be the most brutal, unforgiving, judgmental place.
So maybe you should check yourself before you claim to be ‘open-minded’ or not easily offended.
No one can take constructive criticism anymore. Everyone is just so damn wounded or loves to be a victim.
Cry about it, newsflash: Its cool to be obsessed with some internet social media site, but don’t forget that the world is a brutal brutal place, and no one fucking gives two shits about how you feel or what you believe in.
So next time someone mumbles a racial slur at you, or makes a joke about religion or the lack there of, or whatever. Keep your head high and continue on like nothing ever happened. Ignore it.
Every time you act super offended about shit, it just shows how insecure you are. Or how unhappy you are. Have some bloody confidence. Geeze! When you make yourself a victim people start treating you that way.
You want to be treated equally, then you get equally shit on. Then you’re mad so you want special treatment, then you’re offended that your peers set you apart.
Really? You can’t have your cake and eat it to. Take the good with the bad, and know who you are and understand that you’re probably going to hear shit that upsets you. Guess what? Its the same for everyone.
Just like the poor rebellious punk came from an abusive home, well so did the posh girl with nice clothes and money.
You can’t stop people from lashing out at you but you can change the way you handle and take it. Which will ultimately change the way people see and treat you.